The Privilege

Tuesday was a hard day for me. I felt yucky. I had to be on the road literally from 8am to 6pm bringing kids to appointments, schools, pick ups and finally sitting in my van with four Littles for 2 1/2 hours for baseball practice. On top of that chaos it was also a memorial of sorts for one of our girls. This week marks two years since the abuse she survived in her early months was discovered. It's easy to feel angry and think what if, but it serves no purpose. All we know is we have been amazed by the miracles God has performed in her life. She is a walking testimony to God's healing and provision.

As I was driving two hours to an appointment and listening to Jedd Medefind (head of Christian Alliance For Orphans) talking about Summit 9. I became overwhelmed by the reality that I'm attending this, and overwhelmed by the life that we are living. When we started this journey our only thought was of getting a baby. It has grown into so much more. Tears streamed down my face to realize that this ministry that we have been called to is such a privilege. There are days when it is so hard, times when it has ripped our hearts out, and moments when all we could do is hold our breath and know that God sees. BUT there have been more times than I can count that have made all those hard moments worth it. A smile on the face of a child who made no expressions, "mama", little hands holding mine, my teenage son falling in love with these little people, to know that He is pleased.

I can't even begin to imagine where this road will lead. I do know that our hearts have been ripped open for the cause of the orphan and we can never go back to who we were before.