He is God, the Creator of all. The One who holds the universe together. The One who holds me together. The One who will weave our baby together.
I will trust Him when I can not see the path before me. In the darkness He will be my guide. As I grope to find the next step, my hand will reach for His. Because He is. I will.
The agency we are using for our adoption requires a trip to Michigan by Dane and I to begin the adoption process. They are in the process of setting it up to do the 3 hour informational meeting via a live internet feed, however, they aren't sure when that will be. Please join us in praying that the Lord would grant us favor and that this wouldn't be a hurdle for us, but that somehow we can get around travelling to Michigan.
2.14.11 So today is the day, the day we sent in our preliminary application for adoption. I was struck with butterflies this morning at the excitement yet anxiousness of doing this. I ran after Dane as he was leaving for work and asked him to pray over mailing the application. I knew he already had, but I just needed him to do it again, I needed him to remind me Who we were trusting. I teared up during his prayer when he thanked God "for allowing us to take part in the work of Your kingdom by bringing home an orphan." Even know my eyes are welling up with tears knowing by faith that God has our baby in mind. I fell asleep last night praying all the situations out. Praying for our baby's mom, whereever she is, whatever she is doing, whatever she is going through. Chances are she hasn't even become pregnant yet... talk about weird, praying in faith about something and someone who hasn't even happened yet. How awesome though to know that God knows each of our stories from the beginning of time.
So after Dane left this morning the words to a song popped in my head. I finally googled the song as I wasn't sure he sang it. Apparently it's called "Hope Now" and from Addision Road. Singing it today as we drop our heart in a mailbox and ride on hope and faith in a God who is so much bigger than we will ever comprehend.
Hope Now-
If everything comes down to love Then just what am I afraid of When I call out Your name Something inside awakes in my soul How quickly I forget I'm Yours
I'm not my own I've been carried by You All my life
Everything rides on hope now Everything rides on faith somehow When the world has broken me down Your love sets me free
When my life is like a storm Rising waters all I want is the shore You say I'll be ok Make it through the rain You are my shelter my from the storm
Everything rides on hope now Everything rides on faith somehow When the world has broken me down Your love sets me free
I am not my own I've been carried by you all my life
Everything rides on hope now Everything rides on faith somehow When the world has broken me down Your love sets me free
Everything rides on hope now Everything rides on faith somehow When the world has broken me down Your love sets me free
You've become my hearts desires I will sing Your praises higher Your love sets me free (Your love sets me free) Your love sets me free (You love sets me free) Your love sets me free
For eleven years I hoped to share two little words with those I love, and finally I get to:
We're pregnant!
Paper pregnant that is... we have officially begun the adoption process. I've always thought that adoption was an incredible thing. I watched friends and other blogger's journey through adoption, but I've just never felt as though it is what the Lord has called us too. We have wanted to have more children since April 2000, two weeks after Dane had his vasectomy. I've shed so many tears, and prayed so many prayers. In December of 2008 we took the step of having a vasectomy reversal done. My hope was truly renewed and I truly thought that I would be pregnant within months. However, that was not what God had planned for us.
At the turn of the year I shared a note on Facebook looking toward the coming year. I wrote the following:
There are things we pray for and hope for this year, mainly another baby, but we know as always, God has His plans, and we will rest in that.
Little did I know that the next day adoption would enter our lives. I won't go into the details of that story right now, but I will soon. When we moved to our current area I blogged much of that journey and am encouraged looking back and all the Lord did to confirm and encourage us in His will. I want the same thing for this journey. I know there will be ups and downs, but I know that God is in control:
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; And through the rivers, they shall not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned, Nor shall the flame scorch you. Isaiah 43:2
