Those who know me, know that I have been an emotional wreck the past week or so. There is so much going on in our lives that I guess I just don't know how to process it all. We are adopting... duh... just in case that wasn't obvious. Our daughter is graduating from high school. Our niece is also graduating from high school (1,350 miles away.) Our dear friends are holding a baby shower for us this weekend. The last two events are wonderful things, however met with a bittersweet edge. You see I will not be able to attend my niece's graduation, and her mom (my bestest friend... and sister-in-law) will not be able to make it to my baby shower. While I'm so happy about both events, my heart so deeply weeps that there are missing pieces to both. I think beyond just the missing, there are so many emotions due to the fact that we have been best friends since Gab (my niece) and Kahli were itty-bitties. We've been through so much, and it is so weird to be at the end of a chapter together (but separate.)
And that leads to my next wave of emotion... how quickly the past 17 years have passed. How did it happen? Where did time go? Being a young mom makes it even more weird to me. Kahli is the age I was when I had her. I can't put it in to words, but it's such a weird feeling to hit this mark. She has been with me for half my life. Her life has gone by so quickly, and it makes me realize how very young I was when I had her. I guess in my emotional state I've been thinking a lot about that lately too. Getting older... not in a oh my word I'm so old way. But in a way that it amazes me how quickly this life zooms by. There are so many moments that we think we'll hold on to forever, but time goes by and they're gone. A friend shared a quote with me last night from Ann Voskamp that resonates with me today as we come to a crossroad of journeys ending and journeys beginning: the only way to stop time is to be present in it. And it's true, I can't redo yesterday, and worrying/planning/thinking about tomorrow is fruitless. Right now, this is all I have. This moment to live in. To hold, To cherish.
Like most of my ramblings I have no idea if this makes sense. Maybe it's just that I needed to get it all out. I feel like the past few years have been such a new chapter in our lives, so many changes, and maybe they are all just catching up to me now.
No comments:
Post a Comment