The Privilege

Tuesday was a hard day for me. I felt yucky. I had to be on the road literally from 8am to 6pm bringing kids to appointments, schools, pick ups and finally sitting in my van with four Littles for 2 1/2 hours for baseball practice. On top of that chaos it was also a memorial of sorts for one of our girls. This week marks two years since the abuse she survived in her early months was discovered. It's easy to feel angry and think what if, but it serves no purpose. All we know is we have been amazed by the miracles God has performed in her life. She is a walking testimony to God's healing and provision.

As I was driving two hours to an appointment and listening to Jedd Medefind (head of Christian Alliance For Orphans) talking about Summit 9. I became overwhelmed by the reality that I'm attending this, and overwhelmed by the life that we are living. When we started this journey our only thought was of getting a baby. It has grown into so much more. Tears streamed down my face to realize that this ministry that we have been called to is such a privilege. There are days when it is so hard, times when it has ripped our hearts out, and moments when all we could do is hold our breath and know that God sees. BUT there have been more times than I can count that have made all those hard moments worth it. A smile on the face of a child who made no expressions, "mama", little hands holding mine, my teenage son falling in love with these little people, to know that He is pleased.

I can't even begin to imagine where this road will lead. I do know that our hearts have been ripped open for the cause of the orphan and we can never go back to who we were before.  

I Cry Abba....

Ye have not received the spirit of bondage again unto fear; but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry Abba, Father. Romans 8:15


Father, I'm trusting You now as I glimpse just a taste of the pain it cost you to adopt me, to ransom me from my sin. Even now, as I slip into the fear that the enemy seeks to put in my heart, I will remember You. I will cling to You and the promises You have given me. I know Your heart, You are my Father, I know Your will. I know Your love for me and for Your children. I will trust You, and even if when I can't find the strength to trust, I will obey. For the joy set before Him, Jesus endured the cross. Oh Father, help me to endure, help me to surrender to Your will.  Lord, keep Satan at bay... surround us with Your angels. I love You Lord. I love you Abba. 

Just the FAQ's Ma'am!

We have had a lot of people ask us the same questions, so I thought I would put together a  FAQ (frequently asked questions) section on our blog. We love to answer the questions and talk about our adoption so please don't hesitate. However, we thought we'd stick up these questions just in case. 

How old is the child you are adopting? We are adopting a newborn!

Do we know who it is? Nope, not yet. But God does. Our adoption is a semi-open one and our birthmom looks at various profiles that match up with the criteria they have (ie. whether she wants a couple with children, etc.), and then picks the couple that she feels will be best to parent her child. 

Do you know if it will be a boy or a girl? Nopers... we were going to specify a gender, but decided that if we were pregnant we would have no say in the matter. Once again, it comes down to knowing that God has an absolute plan, and knows every detail!

Do you have names picked out? Yes! If we are blessed with a little girl she will be Zoiey Elizabeth. Elizabeth is after my mother-in-law's middle name. Zoiey, a variant of Zoe, means "life." I have always loved the name Zoiey, in fact when I was young I "planned"  on having twin girls (with Jon Bon Jovi) and naming them Zoe and Chloe... yup... dork. So, not only do we love the name, but we love the meaning, especially given that the our mom is choosing life. 

If we are blessed with a boy, we will name him Ezekiel Scott. Scott is after my dad. We will calling little Ezekiel "Zeke" for short. The name Ezekiel means "strength of God," and Ezekiel is also one of Dane's favorite prophets. 

So for now we are simply referring to our little one as Baby Z! 

When will we get the baby? We don't know. We've been told to expect six months but that it could be sooner. The longest it has taken to receive a referral in the African American program was 8 months. The nature of the matching process means that we could be picked at any time, it isn't necessarily first come- first serve. If for some reason we aren't matched up and there is a birthmom who chooses not to personally pick a couple, the agency will pick, and usually goes with a family that meets match criteria and has been waiting the longest. 

Where are we adopting from? We are doing a domestic adoption out of Michigan, possibly the Detroit area. 

Will we have to go to Michigan? Yes.

How long will we be gone? Anywhere from a week to a month, it all depends on the court system. First off we have to have our adoption hearing, then we wait on the judge to sign that. After that we get custody of our baby, but than we have to remain in Michigan until we have our interstate hearing and order signed so that we can bring our baby home!

Will the baby have health problems? One of the forms that we had to fill out was one that discussed what (if any) health conditions we are willing to accept. Also on the form was what level and types of substance abuse we are open to. I won't go into the specifics, however since the beginning of this journey we have been praying for our baby and for our birth mom. We completely believe that the Lord can and will take care of our little one. Psalm 139:14-16 says:  

I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well. My substance was not hid from thee, when I was made in secret, and curiously wrought int he lowest parts of the earth. Thine eyes did see my substance, yet being unperfect; and in thy book all my members were written, which in continuance were fashioned, when as yet there was none of them. 

We completely believe that the Lord knows every detail of little Z's being and we will trust that He has a wonderful purpose.  

Will we meet the birthmom? That is completely up to her. We would absolutely love to meet her and be able to thank her for the gift she's giving us and tell her how very proud we are of her. We can not imagine the love that she has for her baby. Also, we would love to be able to share the details of meeting her with Z. One of the things we totally loved during our journey was the adoption education. We had to read an incredible book called Dear Birthmother. It gave us such a new outlook on adoption and on birthmothers in general. Definitely a book I would recommend for all those involved in adoption, a heart for adoption, or really anyone! 

How much will this cost? $24000, more or less. Hopefully less, but most like more. That doesn't include the travel costs. We have been raising money through selling our Unto One wristbands, we raised almost $900 in our yard sale, and have been blessed by friends in helping with our costs. Lastly, we have applied for various grants as well as a low-interest adoption loan. We know that ultimately God will provide for every detail. Also, we are praying that the Adoption Tax Credit will be renewed for another year. This provides a $13,000 tax rebate for families who adopt. 

So, that's all I can think of for the questions we have been asked. If there are more that you're interested in having answered please leave them in the comments. 

The Ache

The past few days I have ached. Not a physical ache, but rather a deep gut ache. An aching from knowing there is a missing piece. An ache to meet our precious baby. Don't confuse the ache was anxiousness or impatience. I know that God's timing is perfect and that He will and has directed every step of this. It's the ache of an expectant mom, it's the same feeling I felt with Kahl and Max; dreaming about them, wondering what they'll look like, be like. 


The ache goes farther lately though. It's an ache that demands a response. My mind keeps going to all the other orphans out there. I think about them. I wonder about the road that God has planned for us. We know without a shadow of a doubt that this adoption isn't the destination, it's the beginning. This morning I have been thinking about what I am willing to give up. What dreams, what rights, what possessions, what mindsets I am willing to shatter. In as much as I wonder what Z will be like, I have to wonder where this journey takes us. Is it ministering to women who are dealing with unexpected pregnancies? Will it mean a foreign land? The thought makes me shutter in fear and anticipation. And it brings me back to the question again, what would I be willing to give up. 


I know so many don't understand. I know family member's don't understand this. They look at our lives and see the things we "don't have," I see the things we "do have." I see the things that are so important to us: faith, family, friends. I see an abundance, not a lack. I know that their concern comes from love, but I think in the same way our boldness in following God comes from knowing His love, and knowing His love is even greater for us than theirs. I don't think of this adoption as being a huge leap of faith, well not until I see the financial obligation breakdown; I just think of it as following each step that the Lord brings to us. Even as a type this I'm watching a report on families who have invested in the housing market for financial security... how'd that pan out. These people have incredible homes that they can't afford and that are going to lose everything.  I think of the verse in Psalms 20:7: Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the LORD our God. Our trust is in God, that He knows the beginning from the end. We know He knows our hearts. It amazes me that some people want us to disobey that for security. The funny thing is, it's the "safety net" of security in such a prosperous country that has put almost an ignorance to accomplishing God's will in our hearts. The "American Dream" has somehow replaced walking in faith. Is there room for God's will in my "dream"? My "life plan"? My "retirement plan"? I ask these questions of myself and of you. What will I give up? What am I willing to give up to follow Christ? Would I be willing to sell it all? Give it all away?  


The ache. The ache for our baby. The ache for the journey. The ache to see what the Lord has for us.  


EVERYDAY ETERNITY from Take No Glory

I’m not going anywhere
Unless You lead the way.
I’m not living tomorrow
Unless You plan my day.
I’m not really breathing
Unless You breathe through me.
I’m not living for anything
If it’s not for eternity.

Help me live everyday
Fixed on eternity.
Help me keep pressing on
For the crown of victory

Seasons

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven. Ecclesiastes 3:1 


Seasons ending:

Season's beginning: 

 Today was a time to laugh
 a time to rejoice
 a time to dance
 a time to heal
 a time to embrace
 a time to love.

They've Arrived!

On a whim I checked the tracking on our profiles even though I didn't expect them to make it to Michigan til the end of the week. SURPRISE!!! They were delivered to our agency at 11:07 this morning.

You Alone

What I feel:

Fear

Doubt

Anxiety

What I know: 

For He Himself has said, "I will never leave you or forsake you.." So we may boldly say: "The LORD is my helper; I will not fear. What can man do to me?" (Hebrews 13:5-6)

Those who trust in the Lord 

Are a strong mountain 

They will not…not be moved 

Those who trust in the Lord 

Are as Mount Zion 

They will not…not be moved 

Christ the King, He sets my feet 

On a firm foundation 

They will not…not be moved 

Though the world moves like mad 

You alone are faithful 

Jesus, you, you will not be changed

And with that our profiles are off to Michigan. ---- UPDATE: So, I totally cheated and wrote this out this morning before going to the post office. In typical God fashion, He had a surprise for me. I had planned on having the postmaster take a pic of me w/ our profile package. So when I walked in and saw that our regular PM wasn't there I felt slightly foolish lugging my camera with me. I almost kept my mouth shut, but then told her I had a weird request and held up my camera. I told her we were adopting and that this package held our profiles that birthmom's would look at and would she mind taking a picture of me. Her response? I'd love too! I'm adopted!

Goosebumps... really God?! Thank You... thank You for surprising me once again with Your love, mercy, and constant encouragement. So with that I'll once again say... our profiles are off to Michigan. Sealed with love and every ounce of hope and faith that is within our bodies. 

To Michigan with Love

Today I've been finishing the final bits of our paperwork and profile. Tomorrow, Lord willing, everything will begin making it's way to Michigan. My stomach churns at the thought. The act of letting go and putting all or hopes into a box and sending it off to begin the official wait is well... gut wrenching.

Don't get me wrong I'm so excited, but there is still that part of me that won't believe it until we have our little boy or girl in our arms. I still wait to hear the punchline, the caveat, the we're sorry but... I know though, that the Lord has offered up confirmation after confirmation. He has provided provision after provision. He has spoke to our hearts.

The feeling isn't even one of anxiousness, it's more of letting go and simply waiting. Be still and know that I am God... I hear Him whispering to me. So as I attach each photo to our profiles, I say a prayer; for God's will, for our baby, our mama, and for every selfless woman who looks at our profile and makes an incredible difficult choice.

Somehow, it feels like we're packaging up years worth of hopes and tears praying that in the end they will have all been worth it. Lord, bless this journey, keep us in Your will.

Yard Sale!

We had our yard sale to help raise money for our adoption this weekend. We had so many incredible people donate items, and God once again showed that He would provide.

We were so crazy busy that I was unable to take all the photos I had hoped to, but here are a few. At the end of the day we were blown away when we counted up the money.

 Our total for the day? An incredible $832.35!

He Is With Us...

I'm writing this post not so much because I want to, but rather because in faith I need to. I know that someday I will look back and this post I probably will have forgotten the details. I'll look back knowing the everything worked out just right, and being able to see the hand of God in every detail of this adoption. Right now though, I am wrestling with fretting, and fear, and disappointment. I've been so excited as we are ready to submit our home study and our profile (for birthmom's to look at) and I just found out that we may need to be fingerprinted before we can proceed, AND that there is a significant wait for that. I've already been wrestling with fears of being disappointed after a rude and tactless comment was made to me a few days ago. This just was the last thing I needed to here. Last night I felt like someone had kicked me in the stomach. I know for those of you just watching the adoption part of our story you think we've only been waiting for a few months. However, we've been waiting for a baby for years and this just seems like one more no (I know it's not... but it feels that way.)

So after taking a shower... and sobbing... I stepped out of the shower and read a quote I had wrote on our chalkboard wall:

To want to serve God in some conditions, but not others, is to serve Him in your own way. But to put no limits on your submission to God is truly dying to yourself. This is how to worship God. Open yourself to God without measure. Let His life flow through you like a torrent. Fear NOTHING on the road you are walking. God will lead you by the hand. Let your love for Him cast out the fear you feel for yourself.  (Dangerous Surrender – Quote Francois Fenelon.)

I read it at My Crazy Adoption a month or so ago, and loved it. The end of it struck me last night... I can't just pull out my submitting to God's will because I don't like what's happening. I have to surrender to what He wants to do. The end of the quote is truly incredible : fear NOTHING on the road you are walking. God will lead you by the hand. Let your love for Him cast out the fear you feel for yourself. It was just the reminder I needed.

When I went up to bed I remembered the verse the Lord had gave me at the beginning of this journey. I held to it, but hated it because it pointed to troubles along the way, and quite frankly I don't want to think about that. I want to believe this adoption will be straight out of a Hallmark commercial. The verse? Isaiah 43:2:

When you pass through the waters, I [will be] with you; And through the rivers, they shall not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned, Nor shall the flame scorch you. 

I decide to keep reading:

"Do not be afraid, for I am with you. I will gather you and your children from east and west. I will say to the north and south, "Bring my sons and daughters back to Israel from the distant corners of the earth.

So obviously there is the context of God speaking to Israel, but hello?! They are the nation that wasn't. If God could bring them together, I have no doubt He will bring our family together. So for now, it looks like we are headed to New Hampshire to get digital fingerprints and then submit them to the FBI. Please, please, please be praying that this goes smoothly and that the FBI would process everything in a timely manner. And please, pray for my heart. I know God has already written this story, but it's easy to become inpatient and so fragile and sensitive to negativity. God's timing is perfect, and I know He will work this out and this will all be a reflection of His glory.

And to the future me, when you reread this while holding your sweet baby, remember His faithfulness.


Update: Praise God! We won't need fingerprinting after all. This whole thing makes me frustrated with myself and my lack of faith. I truly pray that I would keep my focus on God through this whole thing, and not get caught up in the ups and downs. 

Home Study Update

We received our home study to look over and approve! Final home study check for $942.74 sent out today. Praise God! Total spend to date for adoption costs is $3000 and God has provided every penny.

Our Home Study, Part 2

Praise God! Just wanted to update everyone on where we are. The beginning of the week we mailed in our formal application and a check for $1095 to AAI. I was able to email with our caseworker yesterday and get some "homework" to get started on. The past couple of weeks I've also been working on creating our profile that gets submitted to birth parents -talk about difficult. There's such a temptation to think that the words and pictures you craft have to be perfect. I've come to the truth though that regardless of what is in that four page portfolio God knows who are child is. It truly takes the pressure off... mostly.

Probably the most exciting hurdle was removed about 45 minutes ago though. We had our final home study meeting this morning at our home. We knew the first meeting had gone well, but still I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous.  We were told once again we were all set, and here's the best part.... we should have our report by the end of the month! We went into this adoption being most nervous about the home study process, but we have been so blessed to work with an incredible sister in Christ from St. Andre's in Biddeford. If you need a home study done Nancy is one of a kind and such an encouragement and blessing to work with.

So that's where we're at. It feels like we're moving along quickly and the Lord just keeps opening doors. Next up is getting everything together for AAI, and our profile finished. We are praying that by this time next month everything will be submitted and the true wait will begin.

For now we have a couple of prayer requests for you to consider:

• Pray for the Lord's guidance in this entire process.
• Pray for our baby's mother, for her pregnancy, her health, her emotions, and most importantly her walk with the Lord.
• We will be having a fundraising yard sale on May 14th. Please pray for donated items to sell, for good weather, and that the whole day would be blessed.
• Finances.... the Lord has provided and we know He will continue to. 
• Timing... we our told in Hebrews 4:16: "Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need." So in boldness (and honestly, with timidity) we are praying that God would do the impossible and that we would adopt before the end of June. As it stands right now to receive the Adoption Tax Credit we need to have our adoption finalized by the end of 2011. It takes six months for an adoption to be finalized, so with that in mind to guarantee that we would be eligible for the credit we need to adopt by the end of June. If this isn't the Lord's will, we pray that the ATC would be renewed for 2012. 
• Pray for focus for me. It's going to be a busy few months with the adoption and the graduation of our daughter (YAY KAHLI!). Pray that I would keep my focus on the Lord and serving Him, and waiting on Him. That I wouldn't become overwhelmed or stressed out trying to do things in my own strength.

While I'm Waiting

Just an update we are scheduled for the first of two home study interviews this weekend. So excited to be completing one more step. I was watching a few Gotcha Day videos on youtube this evening and one of them used a song I had forgotten about. I first heard this song after Dane's V-Reversal and was challenged by it, and reminded that my first priority is to serve God. No matter what I'm hoping or waiting for, I have calling (and you do too) that I need to be fulfilling. I hope this song blesses you whatever it may be you're waiting for.

While I'm Waiting-- John Waller


I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident
Takeing every step in obedience
While I'm waiting
I will serve You
While I'm waiting
I will worship
While I'm waiting
I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it's not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve you while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord

The Calm...

Slow going... it feels like we are in limbo right now with so many things pulling for attention. We're moving forward, but with things that seem unrelated. Right now we're waiting for the home study to begin. All of our paperwork is in, but our caseworker is finishing up with some other clients right now. So in the meantime, I'm getting our home in tip top shape with some spring cleaning, purging stuff and putting it in our yard sale pile, and they to make it all just a little bit more fun some redecorating/painting. We are looking at some busy months coming up, and not simply because of the adoption. One of the thing we get to look forward to is the graduation of Kahli! How can it be that!? I am so proud of her and amazed by how quickly time has gone by. So that's what's going on now... we are waiting, and doing the things we can and need to do. In a way I feel like we're in the calm before the storm (and I don't mean storm as in bad, but storm of business rather), so I'm just working doing what I can and trusting God with the rest. Our hope is that we will hear from our home study case worker within the next week or two. Please be praying that everything moves along in a timely fashion and that the Lord would prepare our hearts for whatever comes.

My Happy Song

I love, love, love this song. It just makes me giddy.

I Just Haven't Met You Yet by Michael Buble
I'm not surprised, not everything lasts
I've broken my heart so many times, I stopped keeping track
Talk myself in, I talk myself out
I get all worked up, then I let myself down

I tried so very hard not to lose it
I came up with a million excuses
I thought, I thought of every possibility

And I know someday that it'll all turn out
You'll make me work, so we can work to work it out
And I promise you, kid, that I give so much more than I get
I just haven't met you yet

I might have to wait, I'll never give up
I guess it's half timing, and the other half's luck
Wherever you are, whenever it's right
You'll come out of nowhere and into my life

And I know that we can be so amazing
And, baby, your love is gonna change me
And now I can see every possibility

And somehow I know that it'll all turn out
You'll make me work, so we can work to work it out
And I promise you, kid, I give so much more than I get
I just haven't met you yet

They say all's fair
In love and war
But I won't need to fight it
We'll get it right and we'll be united

And I know that we can be so amazing
And being in your life is gonna change me
And now I can see every single possibility

And someday I know it'll all turn out
And I'll work to work it out
Promise you, kid, I'll give more than I get
Than I get, than I get, than I get

Oh, you know it'll all turn out
And you'll make me work so we can work to work it out
And I promise you kid to give so much more than I get
Yeah, I just haven't met you yet

I just haven't met you yet
Oh, promise you, kid
To give so much more than I get

I said love, love, love, love
Love, love, love, love
(I just haven't met you yet)
Love, love, love, love
Love, love
I just haven't met you yet

Thoughts on Financing Our Adoption

Just a few words on funding our adoption. We completely know that the Lord has called us to this, and that He will provide for it in incredible ways. We also know that part of our obedience in following Him is going to be financial sacrifices and choices. As soon as our home study is completed we will begin applying for grants, and will most likely end up having to take out a loan to finish financing our adoption. Adopting is a financial commitment, but so isn't buying a new car or going on a family vacation. For us though, right now, this is the priority the commitment we are choosing to embrace. We do feel though that it is good to try and raise funds for this adoption for two different reasons. First, the cost of adopting is HUGE and we don't have the money to commit to this; secondly, we want to provide others opportunities to be part of our adoption. We know that many of you are supporting us through prayers and we are most grateful for that! However, some of you may feel led or just desire to help us financially, and for that we are also appreciative.

A couple ideas we have right now are a yard sale sometime in May, if you're interested in donating (please be considerate in the things you donate, as tactfully as I can say it we don't want junk that you know no one in there right mind is going to buy, lol... no empty cool whip containers.) Also, we are considering selling adoption themed clothing/merchandise that we will receive a generous portion from the profits. You can see some of the options we may offer at My Crazy Adoption. Also, many of you know I am a Pampered Chef consultant (according to company policy I can't link to my site, but if you are interested, let me know) and all money I make from my business goes straight to adoption costs. I actually am thinking about doing a fundraiser show sometime this summer for anyone interested. Lastly, one other thing I will through out there is that I love, love, love to cook, and if you are interested in having me bake something special, or prepare a meal for you and your family, let me know and we could definitely come up with some ideas.

So, we won't be BEGGING for money, but I did want to throw these things out there and once again ask that my brothers and sisters in Christ be praying for us during this journey.

Eyes On The Prize

I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:14

I am an all or nothing type of girl. I set my mind on something and I'm obsessed. That becomes my top priority. A few days ago I posted a link on Facebook to a blog guest blog post over at My Crazy Adoption. In a nutshell it warns against letting adoption/orphan care become our idol. Our women's bible study is working our way through Philippians, and this week we were in chapter 3, verses 12-end. It made me think of this article. My focus has been on adoption so much lately and getting things ready that I admittedly have let certain things go. There is even a temptation to not want to serve in ministry because "I need to be focussed on the adoption." This journey isn't a replacement for everything else God has planned and is doing in our family. It's not a spiritual etch-a-sketch that I can shake clean to draw a new picture.

My focus in this journey, and always needs to be on Christ. Paul uses the phrase "press on" in describing our walk as Christians. To press on shows effort and struggle. It's a choice. I think about exercise, once the burn begins I can press on through the pain for the satisfaction of the results, OR I can step off the treadmill. The same way in our walk, we can press on through the struggles, and yes through the pain or we can step off: we can remain stagnant and just stop moving forward. I want to press on! I want to see all that the Lord has for me! I want to see my savior face to face! I want to hear my Creator say "well done good and faithful servant!" One of my favorite quotes from the post is this one:

Our adoption journeys/orphan ministries are walks to which Jesus invites us for the growing of our own once-orphaned-hearts; a journey to give us a better bond and healthier attachment to our Savior, our Redeemer, our adoptive Father and Friend. You see, when Paul said, “run the race as to win the prize” he wasn’t talking about an orphan. He was talking about Jesus. Jesus is the prize. Run the race with both eyes set on him. Follow him and you will run the race well.

And that is the point: following Christ keeping our eyes on him not matter what leg of the race we're on. And just to clarify, this doesn't just go for those of us on the adoption journey. We can put so many things in the place of God: our family, our jobs, even ministry!  I pray that you really take the chance to read Cindy's post, I know you will be blessed.

Amazed

So today is the day that we send out our home study packet along with another check for $700. We have the money for this, but it definitely is still a step in obedience. So.... I just went to the post office to get our mail, and there was a card from our adoption agency with the check we sent them, for $700, with our preliminary application. Apparently, along with waiving the trip to Michigan, the also waived the initial fee! Although we weren't in a situation of desperation to come up with the money for the next step, this was still a huge God pat: my term for when God sends those little things in your path like a pat on the back to say, "go ahead, I'm right here". Thank You Lord! Your love for You children is beyond my comprehension!

You Are More

I've been thinking and praying about our baby's mother a lot lately. Wondering what is happening in her life, wondering what may have happened, or rather what is to happen. It's weird knowing the outcome of a situation, but  not knowing the timeline or the details. I've been in her shoes though, I know the decisions she will make, and the anguish realizing that her choice will be one for a lifetime. I pray that through all of this she knows that there is One who loves her so very much and Who can take all the pain away. I pray that God will give her such a sense of peace and comfort during these months ahead, and the years after.

Oh, dear woman, you are loved and you are cherished so very much. And you are going to do something so very selfless out of such an outpouring of love for your child, and we will never be able to thank you enough.

There's a girl in the corner 

With tear stains on her eyes 
From the places she's wandered 
And the shame she can't hide 

She says, "How did I get here? 
I'm not who I once was. 
And I'm crippled by the fear 
That I've fallen too far to love" 

But don't you know who you are, 
What's been done for you? 
Yeah don't you know who you are? 

You are more than the choices that you've made, 
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes, 
You are more than the problems you create, 
You've been remade. 

Well she tries to believe it 
That she's been given new life 
But she can't shake the feeling 
That it's not true tonight 

She knows all the answers 
And she's rehearsed all the lines 
And so she'll try to do better 
But then she's too weak to try 

But don't you know who you are? 

You are more than the choices that you've made, 
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes, 
You are more than the problems you create, 
You've been remade. 

You are more than the choices that you've made, 
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes, 
You are more than the problems you create, 
You've been remade. 

'Cause this is not about what you've done, 
But what's been done for you. 
This is not about where you've been, 
But where your brokenness brings you to 

This is not about what you feel, 
But what He felt to forgive you, 
And what He felt to make you loved. 

You are more than the choices that you've made, 
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes, 
You are more than the problems you create, 
You've been remade. 


You are more than the choices that you've made, 
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes, 
You are more than the problems you create, 
You've been remade. 

You've been remade 
You've been remade. 
You've been remade. 
You've been remade.