We have had a lot of people ask us the same questions, so I thought I would put together a FAQ (frequently asked questions) section on our blog. We love to answer the questions and talk about our adoption so please don't hesitate. However, we thought we'd stick up these questions just in case.
How old is the child you are adopting? We are adopting a newborn!
Do we know who it is? Nope, not yet. But God does. Our adoption is a semi-open one and our birthmom looks at various profiles that match up with the criteria they have (ie. whether she wants a couple with children, etc.), and then picks the couple that she feels will be best to parent her child.
Do you know if it will be a boy or a girl? Nopers... we were going to specify a gender, but decided that if we were pregnant we would have no say in the matter. Once again, it comes down to knowing that God has an absolute plan, and knows every detail!
Do you have names picked out? Yes! If we are blessed with a little girl she will be Zoiey Elizabeth. Elizabeth is after my mother-in-law's middle name. Zoiey, a variant of Zoe, means "life." I have always loved the name Zoiey, in fact when I was young I "planned" on having twin girls (with Jon Bon Jovi) and naming them Zoe and Chloe... yup... dork. So, not only do we love the name, but we love the meaning, especially given that the our mom is choosing life.
If we are blessed with a boy, we will name him Ezekiel Scott. Scott is after my dad. We will calling little Ezekiel "Zeke" for short. The name Ezekiel means "strength of God," and Ezekiel is also one of Dane's favorite prophets.
So for now we are simply referring to our little one as Baby Z!
When will we get the baby? We don't know. We've been told to expect six months but that it could be sooner. The longest it has taken to receive a referral in the African American program was 8 months. The nature of the matching process means that we could be picked at any time, it isn't necessarily first come- first serve. If for some reason we aren't matched up and there is a birthmom who chooses not to personally pick a couple, the agency will pick, and usually goes with a family that meets match criteria and has been waiting the longest.
Where are we adopting from? We are doing a domestic adoption out of Michigan, possibly the Detroit area.
Will we have to go to Michigan? Yes.
How long will we be gone? Anywhere from a week to a month, it all depends on the court system. First off we have to have our adoption hearing, then we wait on the judge to sign that. After that we get custody of our baby, but than we have to remain in Michigan until we have our interstate hearing and order signed so that we can bring our baby home!
Will the baby have health problems? One of the forms that we had to fill out was one that discussed what (if any) health conditions we are willing to accept. Also on the form was what level and types of substance abuse we are open to. I won't go into the specifics, however since the beginning of this journey we have been praying for our baby and for our birth mom. We completely believe that the Lord can and will take care of our little one. Psalm 139:14-16 says:
I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well. My substance was not hid from thee, when I was made in secret, and curiously wrought int he lowest parts of the earth. Thine eyes did see my substance, yet being unperfect; and in thy book all my members were written, which in continuance were fashioned, when as yet there was none of them.
We completely believe that the Lord knows every detail of little Z's being and we will trust that He has a wonderful purpose.
Will we meet the birthmom? That is completely up to her. We would absolutely love to meet her and be able to thank her for the gift she's giving us and tell her how very proud we are of her. We can not imagine the love that she has for her baby. Also, we would love to be able to share the details of meeting her with Z. One of the things we totally loved during our journey was the adoption education. We had to read an incredible book called Dear Birthmother. It gave us such a new outlook on adoption and on birthmothers in general. Definitely a book I would recommend for all those involved in adoption, a heart for adoption, or really anyone!
How much will this cost? $24000, more or less. Hopefully less, but most like more. That doesn't include the travel costs. We have been raising money through selling our Unto One wristbands, we raised almost $900 in our yard sale, and have been blessed by friends in helping with our costs. Lastly, we have applied for various grants as well as a low-interest adoption loan. We know that ultimately God will provide for every detail. Also, we are praying that the Adoption Tax Credit will be renewed for another year. This provides a $13,000 tax rebate for families who adopt.
So, that's all I can think of for the questions we have been asked. If there are more that you're interested in having answered please leave them in the comments.
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